Dangerous liaisons: When too much love can kill you
July 6th, 2007As a proud member of the ‘High-Five’ club 17 yr. old Pretty* will happily share details of how she came to be part of this exclusive sisterhood. Entry is based on one simple requirement: You need to have five concurrent boyfriends. According to Pretty this is no small achievement. Certain skills such as an ability to juggle different schedules and a greater-than-normal capacity to lie and deceive would seem to be essential. Honing these skills would help a girl to keep several boyfriends happy, and keeping them happy not only involves sex but also making a partner think that he is the girl’s ‘one and only’. Pretty says that not all boyfriends need to think you are faithful to them, especially the older married ones who are usually “more understanding because they already have a life.” It’s the younger ones who apparently have problems with partner infidelity. “Boys my age are so insecure these days,” says Pretty, “that’s why they expect you to love them.”
Pretty is a Grade 11 pupil at an elite Durban private school. Bright, articulate and confident, her knowledge of HIV/AIDS is considerable. When asked how she manages to combine school work with helping around the house, babysitting a young nephew and cavorting with several boyfriends, Pretty describes a whirl-wind life of which only her friends, mostly fellow members of the ‘High-Five’ club, are aware. At half-past two Pretty’s taxi-driver boyfriend fetches her from the schoolyard gate and either spends the rest of the afternoon with her or drops her in town. Once there she window-shops and meets boyfriend Number 2 who works as a security guard at Woolworth’s. She either visits him there or at his flat in town if he’s working another shift. Then taxi-driver boyfriend picks her up to bring her home before 5pm , when her mother returns from work. She tells her mother she studies with friends after school. Boyfriends 3 and 4 are seen mostly on weekends; one is married and the other is an engaged father of three. “We might go to La Lucia Mall, somewhere out of town, to a restaurant or a club, whatever. The one who’s not married has his own room, we sometimes just go there, listen to music, you know.” Boyfriend Number 5 is a fellow high-schooler with plans to go to Tech. Asked if her mother is concerned about her absences and late hours, Pretty claims that her mother doesn’t really care and that she just assumes Pretty is at a friend’s house. In addition Pretty says that her mother believes everything she tells her.
Pretty and her fellow ‘High-Fivers’ could easily be the poster-girls for HIV/AIDS in our country. They put lovely, fresh faces onto our horror statistics. According to the HSRC, of the almost 600,000 South Africans who acquired HIV in 2005, 90% of those in the 15-24 year age group were women. For southern Africa as a whole young women aged 15-24 comprise over 75% of all HIV infections found in that particular age-group. It is not so much the actual number of sexual partners that is increasing their risk for HIV, but the fact that these are concurrent partners who are drawn together in a dense, interconnected sexual network where condom use is rarely more than an occasional feature.
Long suspected to be a primary driver of HIV, research evidence is increasingly revealing exactly how this common pattern of multiple partnering is sustaining high rates of HIV/AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa . Recent studies have pointed to the initial surge in viral loads that make people far more contagious when they are newly infected then they are later during the course of infection. With this being the case, the difference between having several partners over several years as opposed to having several partners over several months is a crucial difference. Where the latter pattern prevails, one would expect to find what scientists describe as “wider and more lethal epidemics with high HIV prevalence across the general population.” The 2005 Nelson Mandela Survey reported that about 40% of young South African men and almost 25% of young women aged 15-24 had more than one current partner. Research tells us that this type of sexual partnering is common throughout the region. While a majority of men and women at any time have only one partner, the proportion of reported multiple partners is substantially higher in Africa than elsewhere. In places like Lesotho , where poverty clearly plays a role in encouraging multiple partnering, the WHO reported that 55% of men and 39% of women had two or more current partners.
To date partner reduction programmes or other approaches that address the ‘B’ element of the ‘ABC’ strategy, have received relatively little attention in most of Africa . This may be because larger social patterns that have long functioned as ways to address inequalities of power and wealth have helped to ‘naturalise’ and legitimise multiple partnering. Moral obligations to support needy kin and patron-client ties are as crucial to African social life today as they have been for centuries passed. Some scholars have argued that sexual ties are woven into this social safety-net and help to explain the transactional element common in most all sexual relationships throughout the sub-continent, whether married or unmarried, long or short term. The polygamous system, in its formal or informal practice, is an expression of this process.
The forces then that push men and women into seeking multiple partners are more complex than most of us care to think. It is not simply a question of men’s nature or women’s poverty, and neither is it just about modern trends towards sexual permissiveness. African men with money and position are expected to help others, and those same social expectations exert their pressure on men’s relationships with women. For women, studies from as far a field as Nigeria, Uganda, Tanzania and Botswana describe forms of transactional sex that enable them to make contacts that allow some to advance in careers, reach high social status, or to invest and become economically independent. Recent studies in eastern and southern Africa show that HIV prevalence increases with wealth, especially for women. Based on these and similar studies conducted in South Africa it seems clear that although poor women will seek multiple partners to feed themselves and their children, others want luxuries that range from lotions to cellphones, or are dissatisfy with their husband’s performance or seeking ‘revenge’ for partner’s infidelity.
Our pet explanation that economic desperation causes HIV/AIDS is woefully inadequate. In this part of the world it has much to do with the gendered interface of the widening gap between rich and poor and the blurred lines between patriarchal privilege and patriarchal duty that makes everyone in society vulnerable to this disease. A better understanding of the forces that collude to undermine efforts aimed at HIV prevention should help us to focus on the need to match our intervention targets against our main epidemic drivers…and multiple concurrent partnerships is a big driver.
On the eve of the 3rd South African AIDS Conference our new National Strategic Plan for HIV/AIDS will be on wide display. We are set to tell the world that we hope to half the number of new HIV infections by 2012. This is a very tall order and one which we haven’t a hope of fulfilling if girls like Pretty and their partners aren’t brought onboard. Their current lifestyle spells disaster not just for them but for their other partners and those partner’s partners, present and future, and all their children. There is a need for a very clear and unequivocal message that multiple concurrent partnering in the context of exceedingly high rates of HIV and unsafe sex is a near-perfect recipe for early death and social destruction. Having spelt it out we can only hope that modern and ambitious ‘High-Fivers’, and all those who aspire to join the club, will actually care. Suzanne Leclerc-Madlala, Mike Saneka and Sabelo Zondo
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The authors are members of the Anthropology Department of the University of KwaZulu-Natal and current recipients of the HIV/AIDS and the Media Project Fellowship run by the Perinatal HIV Research Unit and the Journalism Programme at WITS University . This is the first in a series of five articles on HIV/AIDS. This article was first published in the Sunday Tribune on June 3 2007.
*name changed