Remaining faithful a fine idea, but…
Twenty-year-old Chris is a student at a Durban tertiary institution who works part-time as an HIV/AIDS peer-educator for the institution’s Student Counseling Centre. His job is to facilitate workshops that will spur fellow students to practice safe sex. When briefed about a recent UNAIDS report that identified a reduction in the number of concurrent sexual partnerships as possibly the key to reversing the tide of HIV/AIDS in the region, his first reaction was to laugh. Then he added: “Now I know we are all going to die. That’s what we don’t want to do, guys or ladies. That would be the end of life.” Equating life with the pursuit of love and the excitement and intrigue of juggling several romantic relationships simultaneously, holds a particular irony for tens of thousands of young people like Chris living in AIDS-ravaged southern Africa . It’s this very same pursuit that is resulting in an all-too-real ‘end of life’.
Discouraging casual sex outside of marriage and advocating mutual monogamy between sexual partners was once the special preserve of missionaries. Today, in the name of public health as opposed to Christian morality, policy makers are being advised to do the same. But unlike efforts to promote HIV prevention through the use of technologies like condoms, microbicides or vaccines, the promotion of faithfulness is construed in much the same way as the promotion of abstinence; a nice idea but hardly realistic. Behavioural change in the context of HIV/AIDS is possibly the most difficult and most contentious preventive measure to promote. Perhaps this explains why, as a society, we have long given this option short-shift. But as with all things related to our tepid response to HIV/AIDS, we have come to pay the price of shying away from the challenge.
While the “Be Faithful” element of the ABC approach to HIV prevention is only now being recognised as pivotal for averting further social and economic disaster in the region, this is coming at a time when there seems to be greater incentives for multiple sexual partnering than ever before. Studies on the views of tertiary-level students in southern Africa, those who should know better according to some who still believe that HIV prevention is matter of awareness, reveal the challenge of convincing youngsters to forgo multiple concurrent partnering for the sake of disease prevention. Whether studying marketing in Gaborone, education in Lusaka or psychology in Durban , students report that the stress of campus life and the pressures to keep up with or impress peers are major motivations for seeking and maintaining several sexual relationships simultaneously.
For young men studying at regional tertiary institutions the pressure to prove themselves as normal and manly in the eyes of their peers is the number one reason given for their desire to have more than one girlfriend at a time. Keeping ‘back-ups’ in the event that one disappoints you by cheating is also given as a justification for concurrency, as is the ‘problem’ when a particular girlfriend is menstruating or doesn’t want sex for whatever reason.
It is likely that the motivations for multiple partnering amongst men have not changed that much through time, unlike those for women. Women’s motivations for seeking multiple partners appear to be more complex. For one thing, contemporary aspirations for gender equality often seem to carry a prescript for doing as-the-men-do. Tragically, those same aspirations are putting young women at very high risk for HIV. For many young women students being faithful to a singular boyfriend whom they say is likely to already have other girlfriends or, if not, will at some point get others, is viewed as senseless, and some would even say stupid. Additional boyfriends act as a hedge against heartbreak, providing a ready shoulder to cry on in the expected eventuality that one boyfriend will hurt you. In the words of Gladys from Zambia : “Having several partners is to me an advantage because when one disappoints you another comforts you. It reduces your stress. When I hear so-and-so is cheating I just don’t worry myself as I’m doing the same. You can never trust men.” University women in Botswana hold similar views: “It’s rather stupid to be faithful to one as he’ll betray you. Then you feel unattractive and uncared-for, even suicidal, so what’s the use?” For many women students in southern Africa having multiple concurrent partnerships contributes towards boosting self-esteem, feeling loved, and, if the guy is from a higher class, improving one’s status amongst peers.
Would increasing a woman’s sense of self-worth then lower her risk of exposure to HIV? Perhaps to some extent but not entirely. Beyond psychological and emotional reasons for maintaining a small stable of boyfriends, there are financial and social reasons. It is largely for these reasons that older boyfriends are entertained; they have jobs and social standing in the communities. Referred to as ‘ministers’ in South Africa, ‘investors’ in Zambia, or ‘patrons’ in Botswana, women not only value the material benefits that derive from these relationships but also the social benefits that include opportunities for mixing with the elite. Young women students view their liaisons with older men as ‘networking’. It’s a way of acquiring contacts amongst powerful people, some of whom may be in positions to help with securing good jobs after graduation. For these women sexual networking is a strategy for building social capital.
Understanding what prompts people to seek multiple concurrent partnerships is a first step towards designing effective messages and interventions to promote partner reduction or mutual faithfulness. To date the relatively high levels of knowledge that young people in southern Africa have regarding HIV/AIDS has resulted in little else beyond some acknowledgement that AIDS is a problem. It hasn’t resulted in behavioural change.
While they may not admit to it when filling out a survey questionnaire, many if not most young people in the region know they are at risk for HIV. Increased knowledge of HIV/AIDS seems to have led to a tacit acceptance of HIV risk, and it’s a risk they are willing to take. For people like Chris who are tasked with convincing their peers to take the threat of HIV/AIDS more seriously, peers who associate sticking to one partner with the ‘end of life’, promoting faithfulness means nothing less than attempting a re-orientation in what is for many a way of life. As difficult as it may be, our best hope for a long-term solution to the HIV/AIDS crisis lies in changing that very way of life. - Mike Seneka, Sabelo Zondo and Suzanne Leclerc-Madlala